It can be hard looking dead into the eyes of a "together holiday" when you are recently estranged. One playful suggestion is to hit up retailers the day after to get all the heart shaped candy you could ever want on the cheap. Not a bad idea. The thing that I dont advise, unless you are starved for company is to be another couple's "third person" I mean if you are that lonely for company then do it but, do it with the understanding that it may very well just make you feel worse and be awkward for them. so what do you do ? people suggest singles parties, Bowling nights, movies with other single and separated. These are all good ideas on paper because it reminds you you aren't the only one. In practice it can be a good time, or it can just feel awkward for everyone. If you want the be with other people vibe it can be great but set a few ground rules for yourself before agreeing, 1. accept that you are not going there to meet people. If your like me, your not ready to recouple. If you know you arent ready to go on the proverbial prowl then its a bad idea to set the expectation that you didnt find the one. the one could be here. DONT LOOK FOR THE ONE. focus on healing and bettering yourself.
IF on the other hand, you feel ready to throw your hat into the dating ring, on this, the most romanticist of days. Realise from the jump that there are going to be some unspoken expectations that come with asking for a date on this date specifically. Better to be clear with your intentions from the beginning. Especially if you are taking the big chance, and making plans with the dating app person for the first time, or you got up the courage to ask the beautiful stranger in your life for an evening out. You may want to lead with something like "I know this is valentines day, but its my first date in a while so no pressure." Unless your intentions align with "the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. Then you might want to make it clear that your ok with the night going in that direction. (I dont ascribe to this for personal moral and religious reasons, but to each their own) either way I feel like clarity is important.
Another fruitful suggestion is treating yourself. Buy yourself a nice thing, or go out to a nice dinner, or doordash for yourself something you normally wouldnt. I ended up heeding this advice both because a little retail therapy creates feel good hormones, and because my tv that I had before I even started dating is starting to die. by that I mean you can see the picture well enough but its starting to develope vertical lines across the top, and statics every now and then for no reason. and while its not a great tv 45 inch with roku very nice picture. now when my existing one dies, I wont be without, and have to substitute with whatever I can afford in the moment.
Whatever you decide, Do what makes you happy. remember you dont have the option to leave yourself. (if your considering those options please get help and talk about it. I promise as bad as it feels there are people who will be there for you and noone wants to see you leave yourself. )
Next time.... get well soup, and stuck in your feels. .
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