Everyone's probably heard it, Probly gonna hear it again. Regardless of the choices made to get you here. You are here. For many, revisiting the past and the decisions that werent yours or the decisions forced upon you by other peoples decisions is not going to change the outcome. We have two options. Make changes accept that our lives have suddenly changed, adapt to our new lives while we rebuild and renew. Or continue as we are. Take the moodswings as they come, and come they will. Its like being on a rollercoaster. For my own part I was good at being alone and unattached before I started dating my ex. Then she became a part of my life, then I love her was ticommreon thought. Then she proposed to me. (Ill let that sit there Im still blown away by it too.) Then after six years of marraige she didnt want me anymore. Im having to remember by myself and what it was like and how it felt. Whats odd is I wouldnt have known I was lacking until I had something to lack. Real mindbender that one. I would also say I have a good support circle but it killed me to reach out to them. Ive always been the one who needed extra help in life and It still sits sore with me that my marraige was not exempt from that package. That I had to call my father and my brother and say> My marraige is over and I may need you. emotionally, potentially financially cringe possibly even physically if it comes to moving out of here and changing my life drastically. Ill do every thing I can to not need you because my life lead me here and you suffering on my behalf isnt a fair ask. Be aware you can say no but the time may come when I need to ask it anyway.
My family has been very understanding to me and have been there inso far as they can. For my part I do my best to not ask too much of them. The advice that I hear continues to have the same bent, as Im sure it is with you. "Embrace the suck" its gonna be there might as well embrace it
I tire of the advice but it carries weight. I feel that weight when I think Im doing fine, and then I am waylayed by a little thing that reminds me of the life we used to have.
I had to change my beneficiaries today for work.. it hit like a truck. Or the path to work going past the trail we used to hike together. The reminder that I must face the gazeebo alone isnt as funny as it used to be. but life continues. (or so Im told) and I hope other people can fined healing in my own healing process. It is a process good days and bad days will still exist. so SKALD. May we suffer together until the trial is past .
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